Chrismukkah
by SaraLyleth
Summary: What happened if Taylor was the only one to fall off the ladder? How would Ryan feel watching her in the hospital? Just an idea I got watching last night's show. It's a one shot, R and R please.


**Okay, I loved the episode last night. It was really good but it gave me an idea that I just had to write. I don't know if anybody else will like it but I just had to write it. It's a one shot so it won't take time away from my other story which I am updating tonight too. So I hope you like this story. R and R please!!!!**

Ryan stared down at the pile of Christmas lights and wondered why he'd agreed to put the Christmas lights up by himself this year. But then remembered he had the day off and everybody knew not to let Seth near anything electrical.

"Here I go," he mumbled climbing up the ladder with a string of lights. He'd never put the lights up by himself before. He had helped Sandy one year but Kirsten had hired someone to do it the year before. He just hoped he did a good enough job.

"Ryan!" Kirsten yelled walking out into the backyard. She started towards the pool house when she heard somebody curse. "Ryan, you up there?"

"Yeah Kirsten," Ryan said walking over to the edge of the roof.

"Be careful," Kirsten called when Ryan looked like he was going to lose his balance.

"Did you need something?" he asked after taking a deep breath. He didn't like heights, so standing on the edge of the roof looking down at Kirsten on the ground was not his favorite thing to be doing.

"Just a head count for the Chrismukkah dinner tomorrow night," she said still looking a bit nervous.

"Uh…just me," Ryan said slowly.

"Oh," Kirsten said looking surprised. "You aren't bringing anybody."

"Nope," Ryan said shaking his head. He knew what she was getting at. It was the same thing everybody would try to subtly mention to him in passing everyday. He was not inviting Taylor. They weren't together like that.

"Okay," Kirsten said looking like she wanted to say more. "I've got to head in to New Match for a little while, I'll be back later."

"Okay," Ryan said before heading back to work.

He'd been working steadily for a couple hours when he heard somebody calling his name. Not just anybody though, Taylor. He hated how his heart sped up when she walked into a room, he hated when he wanted to smile when she started rambling and he really hated how he was constantly thinking about her.

"Ryan," Taylor said from the bottom of the ladder.

"I'm busy," he yelled hoping she would leave him alone. But it was Taylor and even he knew that when Taylor had something to say, nothing would keep her away.

"Ryan," Taylor said when she reached the top of the ladder.

"Taylor, what part of busy do you not understand?" Ryan asked sounding more than a little annoyed.

"I just wanted too," Taylor said smiling but was interrupted again by Ryan.

"Just wanted to be your usual pushy self and not listen," Ryan said getting even angrier.

Taylor looked hurt and opened her mouth to say something else but shook her head and made a face. "Sorry I bothered you," she said softly.

Ryan looked down at the lights he was still trying to untangle and sighed. He hated being mean to Taylor, it was like being mean to a two year old. They didn't deserve it but usually asked for it. "Taylor," he said standing up to walk over to the edge but he stepped onto the string and his legs flew up in the air as he started sliding down the roof.

"I'm going Ryan," Taylor said starting to make her way down the ladder but looked up when she heard him swear. "Ryan?"

"Taylor move!" he yelled but it was too late. He slammed into the ladder knocking it away from the roof and the last thing he saw as he grabbed onto the gutter to stop his fall was Taylor screaming before she smacked the cement patio. "Taylor!" he yelled feeling the gutter start to give. She wasn't moving and he closed his eyes when the gutter finally gave and was surprised to when he landed on his feet only to fall to his knees from the impact.

"Taylor," he said crawling over to where she laid on the ground. He pushed the ladder off of her and moved her sweater so he could feel for a pulse. He relaxed a bit when he finally felt it. "Taylor wake up. C'mon babe, snap out of it."

He ran into the house and grabbed the phone as he dialed nine one one. "Hey yeah I have an emergency," he said running back out to the patio. "My friend…she fell from the roof. She hit her head pretty hard and she's not waking up." Ryan lightly ran his hand over head as he gave his address and their names. He couldn't believe this was happening. How come these things kept happening to the people around him?

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"Ryan!" Kirsten called running into the ER. All she'd gotten from her cell phone messages was he and Taylor were at the hospital and to come as soon as she got the message. She was making her way towards the main desk when she saw Ryan pacing at the end of the hall. "Ryan!"

He looked up and met her half way giving her a huge hug. "Thank you for coming," he said softly after he pulled back.

"What happened?" she asked rubbing her hands down his arms checking for injuries.

Ryan closed his eyes as he remembered the moments before he fell and watching Taylor smack the ground. "Taylor showed up and I said some pretty…well some things she didn't like and I was going to apologize when I slipped and fell."

"But you're okay," Kirsten said still looking worried.

"I'm fine," Ryan said backing away. "But when I fell I knocked the ladder off of the house and Taylor was on it." He could feel the tears welling in his eyes and he had to look away so Kirsten couldn't see them. "She hit the ground hard Kirsten. Really hard."

"Is she going to be okay?" Kirsten asked softly cupping her hands over her mouth.

"I don't know," Ryan admitted. "The doctors are with her now."

Kirsten took a deep breath relaxing a little bit knowing that Ryan was okay but now her mind was full of Taylor and if she would be okay. She'd never liked Taylor before, knowing what she did of her through the kids. But just after the last couple weeks she'd wormed a place in her heart. She was so eager to please and was constantly making people laugh by just being herself. She was a surprisingly genuine person which was strange considering her mother was Veronica Townsend.

"Oh," she said closing her eyes. "We have to call Veronica."

Ryan groaned. The day just kept getting worse. Veronica wasn't exactly the easiest person to talk to and that was putting it nicely. Once she found out Ryan put Taylor in the hospital she was going to lay into him. But he deserved whatever she dished out. It was his fault.

"I'm going to go call her," Kirsten said when Ryan didn't say anything.

Ryan watched her walk out of the ER and dial a number on her cell phone. He took a seat on one of the chairs provided in the waiting room and laid his head in his hands. He hated feeling guilty and it was an emotion he was familiar with. Taylor shouldn't be in the hospital, it should be him. Everybody around him kept getting hurt and they didn't deserve it.

"Ryan," Seth said walking up to him. He waited 'til Ryan stood up before giving him a manly hug. "Mom said you'd tell me what's going on."

"I slipped on the roof and knocked the ladder off the roof which Taylor was standing on at the time," Ryan said giving him the short story. He looked down at the ground before looking into Seth's eyes. "She was unconscious the whole ride to the hospital and the EMT's weren't saying anything."

"I'm sure she's okay," Seth said optimistically. He wasn't Taylor's biggest fan, he thought she was kind of annoying most of the time but nobody deserved to be in the hospital right before Christmas.

"Yeah," Ryan said not sure he believed him. Just months ago Marissa had died in his arms, He didn't think he could handle another person dying after just being in his presence.

"Are you here with Taylor Townsend?" the doctor said walking up to them holding a folder.

"Yes," Ryan, Seth and Kirsten said hurrying in to join them.

"Well there's some head trauma," he said looking down at the test results. "She's got a concussion but she should be fine."

"Is she awake?" Ryan asked bracing himself for the answer.

"Not yet," the doctor said smiling reassuringly at them. "With head trauma it's almost always up to the person in the coma."

"Coma," Ryan said quietly.

The doctor sighed. "I can't promise anything but I don't see why she shouldn't wake up. It's just up to her, when and if she wants to wake up. She's in room 4, you can see her whenever you want."

They watched as he walked away and Kirsten smiled brightly. "Okay then," she said clapping her hands together. "I guess we should call Summer and Julie, they should know their houseguest is in the hospital. I called Sandy on the way here, he's in a meeting but will be here as soon as he can."

"What about her mother?" Ryan asked still tossing the word coma back in forth in his head.

"She's at the airport," Kirsten said slowly. "She was on her way to Cabo and wasn't happy to hear her daughter was in the hospital. I don't know if she's coming, she hung up on me."

"Figures," Ryan said before walking away from them. He paused outside Taylor's door and took one final deep breath before walking inside. He relaxed slightly when he saw that she wasn't hooked up to any machines. If she was truly in any danger wouldn't there be machines everywhere?

"Ryan?" Kirsten asked walking in behind him. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"No I'm not okay," Ryan said after a moment of silence had passed. He stood there staring at Taylor who just looked like she was sleeping and felt a tear fall. "She shouldn't be there. All she was trying to do was…I don't even know what she wanted. I wouldn't let her talk. I just told her I was busy and made her go away."

"That doesn't sound like you," Kirsten said quietly. She didn't want to say much because Ryan tended to go silent when you said too much. She wanted him to get out whatever was bothering him so she could possibly help him fix it.

"It isn't like me," Ryan said turning to face her. "I just didn't feel like dealing with Taylor and how mean is that? She's been so nice to me, nothing but nice to me. I told her she was pushy and although that can be true, she hasn't really been pushy with me. She's just been nice…she's been a…"

"She's been your friend," Kirsten supplied helpfully. "A very good friend."

"And look how I repay her," Ryan said gesturing towards the bed.

"This is not your fault Ryan Atwood," Kirsten said speaking up. She would not have him blaming himself over this. He'd placed enough blame on himself with Marissa, he didn't need to add another accident to the list. "You slipped and fell, you didn't push her."

"She shouldn't be here," he said again shaking his head.

"No she shouldn't be," Kirsten agreed. "I think it sucks that bad things keep happening to you and your friends." Ryan looked at her when she said sucks, Kirsten never said words like that. "But you need to accept that bad things are going to happen and you won't be able to stop them."

"Do you know why she came by the house?" Ryan asked changing the subject.

"She wanted to give you your Christmas present," Summer said from the doorway. She'd literally broken every law in the law book to get to the hospital once Seth called her. She had gotten close to Taylor in the past couple months and she wanted to be there for her like she'd been there for her. "She knew that you weren't going to invite her over for the actual holiday so she wanted to give it to you ahead of time."

Ryan closed his eyes and wondered if there was any chance he could feel any guiltier. "It's not that I didn't want her there."

"No it's that you are hung up on Marissa and you feel guilty spending time with Taylor," Summer said walking into the room passing Kirsten as she walked out. "You don't to do couple things with Taylor because for some damn reason you think it's cheating on Marissa."

Ryan shook his head in denial. "You've got it wrong. This has nothing to do with Marissa." When Summer just stared at him he sighed. "Okay, it does but not in the way you think." He looked back at Taylor as he said, "I'm afraid to get close to anybody like that again. I can't help but feeling Marissa would still be alive if I would have stayed away from her. I don't want to get close to Taylor only to lose her too. I don't want to get close to anyone."

"You're an idiot," Summer said smacking him on the head. "Marissa died because an asshole decided that when she said it was over he thought that meant chase her down and change her mind." She walked over so she was standing beside Taylor. "Marissa was my best friend. Was being the word there."

"She was a good friend," Ryan said walking so he was standing on the other side of Taylor.

"But Taylor is an even better friend in some ways," Summer said smiling softly. "She tells it to me straight when Coop use to just say things to make me feel better. She never lets me feel sorry for myself and she woke me up when I was willing to let Seth go because I was too busy grieving alone. Taylor gives and gives and all she gets is rejected right and left by people."

"I don't mean to reject her," Ryan said sitting down in the chair beside her bed.

"I know that," Summer said shaking her head at Ryan. "But does she." She stood there for another minute before she leaned down and kissed Taylor's cheek. "Wake up Tay, I'm not done needing your advice yet." She looked at Ryan one more time before walking out of the room shutting the door behind her.

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Minutes had gone by after Summer left before Ryan could say anything. "I don't know if you can hear me Taylor," he started feeling sort of dumb for talking to an unconscious person but it couldn't hurt. "But I need you to know that I'm sorry."

He stood up and paced away so he could get his thoughts gathered together. "I never meant to hurt your feelings today or any other day. I know I've been rude, cruel even some would say. I never really take into account your feelings when I'm turning you away. I just assume since I feel the way I'm feeling you'll understand." He walked over to the window and looked out at the view which wasn't much.

"I never wanted another relationship after Marissa," he admitted suddenly. "I was angry at the world for taking her away from me. I've loved her from the moment I met her I think. She was just amazing, smart and so damn beautiful. I never wanted to feel for someone what I felt for her." He looked back at Taylor and saw that she was still just laying there not moving.

"But what I feel for you is different. It's comfortable in some way," he said smiling a little. "You make me laugh and you also laugh at my jokes which nobody ever does. You listen to me when I talk and don't try to tell me that what I'm saying is wrong." He walked over and sat down and took one of her hands in his own. "But the biggest difference in the way I feel for you is I don't worry about you constantly. I know you'll be okay and that I won't have to rescue you. Chances are you'd be the one to rescue me in this relationship."

Ryan leaned back when he said that word. Relationship. He didn't want one but he was pretty much in one. His heart was involved, he had to admit that after the scare he had watching her fall to the ground earlier. He wasn't in love…yet but he knew he could fall for her if he let himself.

"Ryan," Taylor said opening her eyes before shutting them again quickly.

"Taylor," he said smiling as he stood up. He couldn't believe she was really awake. The doctor had made it sound like she wouldn't wake up for days and here it was only hours.

"What happened?" Taylor said blinking her eyes. She looked up at him and in that moment she remembered seeing him fall and then herself freefalling. She sat up quickly grabbing her head when it ached and grabbed his hand. "Are you okay? I saw you falling and I thought my heart was going to stop. Did you break anything?"

"Taylor," Ryan said chuckling. "You're the one in the hospital."

She looked down and saw the ugly gown and made a face. "Only me," she mumbled before laying back down.

"You hit your head pretty hard," Ryan said laying his hand gently on her head. "Do you want anything for the headache?"

"About ten aspirin please," Taylor said pitifully finally getting the full effect of the headache. She stuck her lip out in a pout and wanted to cry. She was a big baby when it came to pain; that's why she never let herself get hurt if she could help it.

Ryan was smiling when he walked out of her room and made his way towards the nurse's station. He saw the Kirsten, Seth and Summer talking to the doctor and changed his course. "She's awake," he said after stopping beside Summer. "She has a pretty bad headache."

"I'll have the nurses give her something," the doctor said making a note on her folder.

Ryan closed his eyes and just reveled in the fact that everybody was okay and he could finally relax. "

"So what did you say to her Atwood," Summer said crossing her arms over her chest. She had an idea but hoped he would admit it.

"The truth," Ryan said giving her a hug. "Thank you," he whispered in her ear.

"Your welcome," she said hugging him back.

"Can we see her?" Kirsten asked rubbing Ryan's back. She believed Ryan when he said she was okay but she still wanted to see for herself.

"Sure," Ryan said leading the way back to Taylor's room. He froze in the doorway when he saw Victoria Townsend standing at the foot of Taylor's hospital bed glaring at her daughter.

"So you're really fine," Victoria was saying. "Then why in the hell did I have to come down here? If this is just another lame attempt to get attention it's truly pathetic Taylor. You are an adult now, why can't you just grow up?"

"Mom," Taylor said one hand on her head. She had the headache from hell and she had to deal with Bitch Townsend right now, life was really not fair. "I was unconscious, I didn't call you. I know better than to bother you."

"You made me miss my flight to Cabo," Victoria continued on like Taylor hadn't even said anything. "This was my first vacation in a year Taylor and all I asked was for you to do was find some friend, if you have any, to take you in this holiday. But you couldn't even do that, could you?"

"Mom," Taylor said closing her eyes. "Go to Cabo, I told you I had a place to go for the holiday. I'm serving at the soup kitchen, you know, giving to the homeless."

"So I was right," Victoria smirked. "You still don't have any friends. Taylor how pathetic is it that you have no friends, no job, and you're divorced at 19. I always thought that maybe once you graduated from high school you'd amount to something but I guess I was wrong."

Taylor stared at her mom and she didn't even wipe away the tears that fell from her face. Oh she wasn't crying because her mom was saying all those things, she'd heard them her whole life. She was crying because she'd realized her mom was right about one thing, she was pathetic. She didn't have any real friends, just people who felt sorry for her. She had no home and she was chasing somebody who was never going to move on from the perfect girl he once had. She was pathetic.

"Why don't you just go," Ryan said walking over 'til he was standing beside Taylor's bed and he grabbed her hand in his. "You obviously don't want to be here and Taylor has enough people here who actually care to be here."

"I don't know who you think you're talking to," Victoria started to say.

"I don't care who you are," Ryan said glaring at her. "Taylor will be fine. She's going to the Cohen's for Christmas and every holiday after that for as long as she wants to. She has friends and if her mom had cared for her for one minute of her life maybe she wouldn't have had to get married at 19."

"Excuse me," Victoria said backing up a step.

"Just go mom," Taylor said softly staring at Ryan like he was a crazy person. "I'll be fine."

Victoria looked at her daughter one last time before turning and walking from the room muttering about missed flights and first class.

"Go Atwood," Summer said smiling as she walked over so she was standing beside him. "Wow Taylor, and I thought my step monster was a bitch."

"Yeah Taylor," Seth said standing at the end of her bed. "It's a wonder you turned out so normal after living with her for 18 years." When everybody looked at him he chuckled. "Okay, so maybe normal is pushing it."

"Thank you Ryan," Taylor said still staring at him. She didn't know what had made him say those things but she was expecting him to mumbled something she wouldn't understand and to run away.

"Your welcome," Ryan said sitting down beside her on the bed. He put his arm around her and smiled at Kirsten. "I think you might want to hire somebody to finish the lights…oh and to fix the gutter."

"Oh c'mon Ryan," Seth said smiling. "Remember what they say, when you fall of a horse, you need to get right back on. I'll help you this time, no more falling from the roof with me there."

"No I'll just get electrocuted," Ryan said making everybody laugh.

Taylor turned her head so she was looking down at the bed. She didn't understand why Ryan was acting like he…cared. He never acted like this. He was always running away from anything that made them sound like they were a couple or even just dating. But here he was sitting on her bed with his arm around her like it was normal. And dammit, she still needed those aspirin.

"Taylor," Ryan said turning her face so she was facing him again. "It's going to be okay," he said before placing a chaste kiss upon her lips. He winked at her before cracking another joke at Seth's expense.

Taylor leaned back against Ryan's arm and smiled. Maybe she didn't need that aspirin anymore after all.


End file.
